Rule No. 25: CREATE A HOME COURT ADVANTAGE

Some tables aren’t just tables. They’re the places where your community gathers, grows, and carries you forward.

Hello Dear Reader,

Welcome back to another week in The Playbook—Rules for Life. How has your week been so far? I pray it’s been one where God’s nearness outweighed whatever uncertainty you faced. And if it hasn’t—if it was simply another week you pushed your way through—I pray the one ahead brings new strength, new joy, and new reminders that you are not walking alone.

This past week has been a mix of celebration and active rest. I’ve been fighting a head cold (and rethinking my decision to cut my hair because why am I feeling cold on my scalp for the first time in three years?). But despite that, last weekend was one of joy. One of my closest friends got married, and standing beside him as he celebrated a new chapter with his wife was truly beautiful. I’ve known him my entire life in New York, and truly, blood could not make us closer.

There is something sacred about watching two people commit to walking with each other for the rest of their lives. Of course, I heard the “you’re up next” comments from just about everyone in the room. I laughed, nodded, and told them they’ll be the firsts to know when I do.

I also returned to teaching children’s church on Sunday after a few months of serving in media.

But it was my friend’s wedding that sparked today’s rule.

The Lesson

At the end of the reception, the newlyweds took a moment to thank everyone who had journeyed with them—parents, siblings, mentors, childhood friends, coworkers, etc. It was a roll call of the people who had shaped them, supported them, prayed for them, and carried them through the highs and lows of life while still seeing them. I felt honored to be included in that list.

I admit though, it was their gratitude that solidified a thought process I’d been carrying that entire week:

Nobody survives, succeeds, or grows alone. Every life is lifted by the hands that hold it.

From the moment we opened our eyes, we were placed into a community—our immediate family. As we grew older, we began choosing others:
friends from school, teammates who became like brothers, coworkers who transitioned into confidants, and church members who became spiritual siblings.

Make room for the people who are meant to walk with you.

Together they form the family you build—the circle that carries you forward. In many ways, we’re all community builders even if it’s not a title that we cling to, put on our resume, or feel deserving of. But this is why the loss of community can feel like losing your footing. A disruption in the people who surround you can send you into a liminal space. One where you’re no longer anchored to what was, but not yet rooted in what’s forming.

I’ve been there for a few months this year, and it was a lonely, scary place. But when I sat down and reassessed where I was. I found that my community didn’t stop existing, instead it simply evolved. 

That’s a challenge too—understanding who in your community is here for the long run, or meant to last for a few seasons. Every supporter isn’t meant to be there with you through every rebuild. And that’s no fault of their own, sometimes your supporters need to find the truth of themselves and your support is watching from a distance and covering them in prayer. 

That too is community.

When I think back over my life, every major season of growth was marked not only by God’s presence but also by the presence of people: the ones who saw me, prayed for me, challenged me, corrected me, and loved me back to myself. I was never truly alone, despite what crippling self doubt and negative self talk would try to say.

That is the essence of home court advantage—having people whose voices lift you, whose presence steadies you, and whose belief in you strengthens what God is building in you.

The Reflection

We often glamorize independence without realizing that isolation is one of the enemy’s favorite strategies. You were never created to win by yourself. In Rule 16, I wrote we’re strong alone, but unstoppable when together in community. Even Jesus chose twelve.

We were designed for connection and relationships that not only strengthen our spirit but also sharpen our character. But here’s the truth many of us don’t admit:

We love the idea of community, but we struggle with the vulnerability it requires.

To build a circle that supports you, you have to let people see you. You have to let people in. You have to allow yourself to depend on others without shame. You must allow yourself to be challenged and not remain in habits and patterns that keep you in your comfort zone. 

And yet, when we do, we discover something powerful: support doesn’t make you weak; it makes you strong.

I’ve also been learning that your community does not have to be large. It can be two or three people who you can call in the midnight hour and pour out your heart too.

Real community lives in the quiet moments.

Maybe this is the season where God is nudging you back toward community—back toward friends you drifted from. back toward the people who genuinely care for you but were pushed aside when life got loud. Maybe even back toward him.

Because how can we not be in community with the One who created us?

Maybe He’s reminding you that strength is not found in standing alone, but in standing with the right people. The right people will hold space for you, but not for anything that isn’t authentic to who you are and your calling. 

What the Word Says

Scripture is filled with reminders that community is not optional—it is God-designed protection.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” —Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”—Proverbs 27:17

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ.” —Galatians 6:2

“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”—Matthew 18:20

“The Lord sets the lonely in families.”—Psalm 68:6.Not just biological ones but spiritual, chosen, intentional families.

Community is God’s strategy for both protection and purpose.

The Practice

So that’s where today’s rule lands. It’s a reminder that we are responsible for building our home court advantage. Not with everyone, but with the right ones. And you’ll instinctively know the right ones.

So this week, I challenge you to:

• Identify one relationship that strengthens you but has gone quiet. What would reaching out look like?

• Thank one person who has supported you this year. Honor them.

• Ask God to lead you to the community your calling requires.

• And take one small risk toward connection. Maybe it’s an invitation, a conversation, a yes. Who knows where it’ll lead.

Because the truth is this:

Your calling may be individual, but your journey is communal. You win with the people who walk beside you.

Rule No. 25: Create a home court advantage.

You were never meant to run your race alone, and with the right people beside you, you won’t have to.