Rule No. 21: EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON YOU
Believe in yourself—push past the doubt, chase the dream, and make it happen.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
— Philippians 4:13
Everything begins with the one in the mirror.
Hello, Dear Reader, welcome back to The Playbook—Rules for Life.
Can you believe we’re already in the homestretch? It’s been ten months since I started with Rule No. 1 back in December 2024. Now we’re at Rule 21, with only nine more to go, and somehow the year is already nearing its end.
Where has the time gone? We blinked, and suddenly it’s halfway through October.
It’s been a month since we’ve last met, and I must admit—I’ve missed writing to you, sharing my life, and reading how these reflections have helped shape your own. Fall is fully here now. The air has turned sharp and cool; October’s wind makes the trees dance wildly. The smell of pumpkin pie and apple crumble lingers in every open space around me.
Since we last spoke, life has been a whirlwind. If you’ve been following me on socials, you know I adopted a second cat in mid-September. Her name is Lucy, a fishbone tabby with more energy than I bargained for. Suki is not thrilled, but they’re learning to coexist, except when Lucy curls up beside me at night.
I also began teaching my first creative writing course, and I’m loving it. My inaugural group of scholars is lively, thoughtful, and talented in their own right. Guiding them through their writing journeys has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my year.
And yes, St. John’s still feels like home. Maybe even something more, but I’ll leave that mystery right there.
Some chapters in my life have closed, but I’ve been adjusting my mindset. I’ve come to believe that endings aren’t really endings; they’re beginnings disguised as stillness. That belief has helped me navigate transition after transition and trust in God’s providential will.
There’s more to update you on, but for now, these will suffice. How have you been? I hope life’s been kind to you and that you’ve been moving with grace and growing in the ways that matter most.
I know I tend to see the glass half full—sometimes to the annoyance of those around me—but even I’ve had seasons when the glass looked half empty. I’ve had moments when I saw only obstacles instead of opportunities, moments when I refused to move even though I knew God was calling me forward.
And yet, every time, I’m reminded of today’s rule:
“Everything depends on you.”
From Rock Bottom to Renewal
Now, you might say, Alright Daniel, you’re not exactly reinventing the wheel. What do you mean everything depends on me? I can’t control the job market, or other people, or half the things that happen to me.
And you’d be right. You can’t control any of that.
But you can control what you believe. You can control how you adapt to problems. You can control how you respond when everything in you wants to burn the forest down and dance in the ashes.
I know, because I’ve been there.
The last two years have been the hardest of my life. Yet in those same two years, I completed what I now recognize as a life’s work of poetry—over 230 poems across six books, all born from that crucible of pain and perseverance.
One of those pieces, written in the heart of that season, came from Book Five of my six-volume poetic journey, The House We Built from Ash. It’s called “The Ones Who Stay.”
A poem about faithfulness, endurance, and showing up when no one is watching.





“I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.”
— Deuteronomy 30:19
In March of this year, I was 166 pounds—skin and bones. Physically, I was a mess. Emotionally, I was unraveling. Bad habits, stress, and grief had carved me into someone I barely recognized.
From August 2023 to June 2024, I was in a toxic, high-stress work environment. The decisions made by my administrators left me reeling, trying to rebuild my life from rubble in the aftermath.
Even in ruins, light finds its way.
Then from July to November 2024, I worked in a restaurant where verbal abuse and constant exhaustion broke me down further. But even in that storm, I found a strange grace: I completed my Journey Through the Wilderness trilogy, finishing Prodigal Son while managing the restaurant, doing everything but cooking, and fighting tears.
After that, from November through March, I was simply surviving—withdrawn, depressed, and spiritually disconnected. Family health scares, delayed plans, broken trust. It felt like the world had gone silent on me. I thought God had forgotten me.
But rock bottom has a way of revealing truth.
It was there that I finally understood what “Everything depends on you” really means. I could either keep sitting in despair, or I could do something about it.
So I did.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5–6
I recommitted my life to God—fully, intentionally, and without pretense. I realized I hadn’t been abandoned by Him; I had abandoned myself.
Slowly, I started rebuilding—one choice at a time. I returned to the gym in March, weighing 170 pounds. Today, I sit at 215, stronger, healthier, and more alive than I’ve ever been. My mind no longer feels like a labyrinth of dark corners. My spirit no longer hides behind exhaustion.
Through prayer, discipline, and community, I’ve learned to trust God again—really trust Him. I focus on Him now, not the storm.
And the truth is, I wouldn’t still be here, writing these Rules and staying the course, if I hadn’t decided to stop being a passenger in my own life.
The Choice to Rise
We all do it, though. We close doors on our potential and justify why we’re not growing. We shift blame to circumstances, but in the end, the power lies with us.
Growth starts with what you nurture
Freedom of choice doesn’t mean freedom from consequence. Many of the consequences we live in are the result of choices we’ve either made or refused to make.
Sometimes, the greatest trespasser against ourselves is ourselves.
That’s what this rule really means.
Because while pain may not be our fault, healing will always depend on what we do next.
As my pastor, Rich, says at the end of every service: “In the midst of crisis, we are focused on who Christ is.”
That focus—where we choose to look and what we choose to believe—depends on us.
So I leave you with a challenge:
What are you standing gatekeeper of in your own life?
What change needs to begin with you?
Where are you choosing comfort over growth?
Where are you avoiding accountability because it asks too much of you?
Everything depends on you, not because you are your own savior, but because God will only steer a moving vessel.
The moment you decide to rise, He meets you there.
Who knows—maybe, like me, you’ll discover that your choices are the chisels shaping who you were always meant to be.
Welcome to Season 3. Until next time, Daniel.